These last few weeks have been among the most difficult of my life; no joke. Things are still a little rough. The two big things are my denomination and my landlord. First, the landlord. He is a great guy with a good heart and is a strong Christian...he's one of those that says "praise the Lord" a little too much and a little too easily. Really, he's just a lonely guy who needs company. My apartment is in an old house where there are five apartments all together; my landlord lives next door. I just found out today that he has been in my place several times without telling me but manly without asking my permission. He has been in my place about 4 times without asking. I am so frustrated.

The biggest frustration is my stinking presbytery. I was told to choose an old exegesis exam and take a month to do it. When I came to the sermon I was supposed to write a whole sermon. The committee would review the material and we would have a conference call when I could defend my work. HA...defend...HA...that was the last thing that happened. The committee did not get together to discuss my work prior to the call...plus they were not in the same room when we were talking. In all, there were four questions asked and one of those was about my girlfriend. The others pertained to how I wrote the sermon and why I did not write it include this or that. Imagine if you will...writing a sermon and having four pastors (one who is retired) critiquing your work. They said things like..."why didn't you say it this was" ....or "I would have say this." One gentleman asked my theology of heaven...I thought I answered the question as best as I could.

When I got off the phone I thought I nailed it. WRONG! I was told there were more questions raised after I got off the phone...WHEN I COULD NOT DEFEND OR ANSWER THEIR QUESTIONS. One of the "concerns" was that I am not reformed enough in my theology of heaven and hell. Plus, they were concerned about the grammar in my sermon. Let us remember that grammar and theology are not what a reader would be looking at in an exegesis exam.

When my liaison informed me of the outcome I was frustrated. Part of my frustration was directed toward because of things she did not tell the committee. For instance, that grammar is not something that is looked at...or that I was told not to worry about grammar in my sermon because it is a manuscript for ME. Also because my liaison told me that, in her opinion the committee would have passed me if there was a church pursuing me. Which just makes this whole big-giant-enormous-fat-hoop trite.

When I asked what my next step was and my liaison told me a lot of nothing. Really, she was not sure. I told her I needed written instructions...it took three weeks to get written instructions...three more weeks with my life on hold.

In all...I am frustrated with things. It have made me question a lot of things...like my call. I really could use some prayers and supportive words...God bless...

Walking On Water

When I started CPE, my supervisor (a Presbyterian) asked me, "How good an evaluation do you need to convince your committee that you should be ordained?" I said, "I need to walk on water." Hence the title of this post. As it turned out, I took to hospital ministry like a duck to water. I ended up getting a stellar evaluation. Then I had an appointment with my committee.

When I walked into the conference room to face the committee, I felt like I was walking into a Bizzarro world where nothing was familiar. The committee that in the past had nothing but doubts and criticism for me suddenly had nothing but praise and adoration. It was embarrassing! I was certified as ready to receive a call without hesitation. I was sent forth to engage the forces of evil with great fanfare. I was hugged by everyone in the room. Again embarrassing!

Maybe I didn't walk on water, but I did work hard and I did do a good job and I was recognized for having done a good job. At the end of the day, that is really all that any of us can ask for.

Grace and Peace
Ron